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Joke of the Day

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long? Polaroids."

"Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear"

"Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion."

"What do you call a cow...? What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow that's masturbating? Beef Strokin-Off"

"I found out the prostitute I picked up was a dude in drag. I decided I didn't want the trans action."

"What would Germans call a painfully offensive joke? Ouchwitz >say ouch when offended or in pain >Witz is the German word for joke >sounds like auschwitz"

"when people post the punchline in the title You know what I hate?"

"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."

"My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment. Props to him."

"I've never gotten in a car accident whenever I'm drunk or high. So, statistically, based on the data, I am a worse driver when I'm sober. Now where's my whiskey?"