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Joke of the Day

"Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending "

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"What did the Russian woman say to her violent husband? Vladislav, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more."
"What do you call a constipated German? Farfrompoopin."
"Q: Why did the condom fly across the room? A: It was pissed off."
"You ever notice when it comes to blow up dolls... They're always so surprised to see us"
"Caitlyn Jenner has been charged with manslaughter... Bruce is dead."
"What do you call a group of squids? a *squad*"
"While defending the relevance of his laser experiments, the scientist shouted, ""Photons matter!"""
"[knock on door] Who is it? ""Jeff"" Jeff from work or Jeff who lies about his identity? ""Jeff from work"" [opens door] ""Sucker"""
"I miss lost brain cells the most when I can't find my car keys. Also, my car."
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