219903

Joke of the Day

"Do we really have to hear Adam Levine talk about how he used to have acne problems? That poor guy.. how'd he ever survive."

"JOHN LENNON: Love is all you need ME: This guy knows what it's all about JOHN LENNON: I am the egg man coo coo ca chu ME: OK scratch that"

"If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers."

"Consult an audiophile before buying new headphones Their reasoning is pretty sound"

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club I was confused, I'd never met herbivore"

"A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer"

"Customer: Waiter this food is repeating on me. Waiter: Good we love repeat business."

"It's actually pretty tough to write a Reddit joke that insults Trump supporters. Because they probably can't read it."

"Did you hear about the guy who tried to drown his wife with cough syrup before finally strangling her to death? He was jailed for pre-medicated murder."

"A flying insect just flew into my kitchen and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy long legs."