219901

Joke of the Day

"Why are a lot of Italians named Tony? Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, ""TO NY""."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender"

"Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up."

"mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice"

"Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin."

"Shoulder blades sound way more awesome than they are."

"What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse? Whoa."

"DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts"

"The truth about Chemistry Chemistry is all about experiments. Because Chem-is-try."

"I like my women how I like my Christmas trees. Illegally taken in the forest."