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Joke of the Day

"Every 15 minutes, a woman gets run over. She's starting to get pissed."

"the average goat is 9 carrots tall if you measure goats in carrots"

"Watched golf for two hours before realizing that the TV was off."

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? A bomb vest does something when triggered."

"Yesterday 8 mosquitoes bit me! I guess I now have a mosquito bite"

"Kid: I want to give grandpa tickets to a Michael Jackson show! Dad: you can't, he's been dead for years now, and so is Michael Jackson."

"Why was Macaulay Culkin an easy target for Michael Jackson? Because he was home alone."

"Why doesn't Jesus play volleyball? All those spikes hurt his hands"

"Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer."

"Now that big hairy bush is back in style, it needs a good name. I vote on the Sascrotch."