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Joke of the Day

"Twitter: ""Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican"""

"I'm really good at writing palindromes where the 2nd half is gibberishhsirebbig si flah dn2 eht erehw semordnilap gnitirw ta doog yllaer m'I"

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"

"Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest."

"*Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!"

"Baby metamorphosis I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig. that is all"

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Why did the seman cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today.."

"How did Wendy die? The Baconator."