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Joke of the Day
"Twitter: ""Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican"""
Next Joke
"My life The biggest joke of all."
"Lazy is a strong word. I prefer to say that the stars are reaching for me"
"Why are guys so bad at math? They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches."
"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"
"[meeting with boss] ""I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday."" ""I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"""
"I hate guitarists... They're so picky."
"A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window."
"Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast."
"I have a fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it."