195030

Joke of the Day

"Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest."

"Your tombstone should be carved in Comic Sans."

"My favorite part of sex is when I'm actually having some."

"Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies? They were too far out, man."

"My Girlfriend thought we should get Friends With Benefits. I dumped her, I can't stand Justin Timberlake."

"I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid"

"I can swallow a rope and poop out a lasso I shit you knot."

"My innocent look never works in the nude."

"You can't run in a campground, you can only ran because it's past tense."

"If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too."