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Joke of the Day

"QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?"

"If you steal somebody's rap lyrics, is it a rob-bar-y?"

"Did you know the right Woman can make you a Millionaire? You just have to start as a billionaire."

"Wake Up People! Ottoman cannons can't melt Byzantine walls! The Fall of Constantinople was an inside job!"

"Quitting smoking is the easiest thing I've ever done. I've quit hundreds of times."

"50 mph winds here and I looked out the window and saw a package of Oreos fly by my house. At this rate, I will never have to leave for food."

"Your Costco ID photo shows you what you'd look like if you were a meth addict."

"one kindergarten student to another ""did you hear they found a condom on the seventh floor balcony?"" the other student replies ""Oooh no... but... what is a 'balcony'?"""

"Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often."

".one-liner here lately i.ve been feeling a void in my life; it.s probably nothing..."