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Joke of the Day

"Some old man was driving 20Mph the whole way home, as if he'd never seen snow before. Boy everyone sure got mad at me."

"I was struggling to figure out how lightning works Then it struck me"

"First you can't smoke and now you get banned for grinding up on other patrons. It's like, why even bother getting drunk at the zoo anymore?"

"The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says ""eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."""

"How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool You flip it upside down"

"I started observing extremists Wanted to find out what made them tick... tock... boom"

"Feeling sad? Just picture Cee Lo Green climbing a rope."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better."

"why does dr. pepper come in a bottle? his wife died."

"I'm giving up, folks. Years of letters and phone calls making my case quite articulately but they still won't give the Muppets nipples."