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Joke of the Day

"A joke about Serenity [Spoilers] How do Reavers clean their spears? They put them through the Wash. Sorry."

"When does it Rain Money? When there's a change in the weather."

"Text is the perfect way of saying I have some information I need to give you but I in no way shape or form want to hear your voice"

"I told my friend that Dracula and I had sex with my 12 inch penis. He refused to believe me... I said, ""I know it's hard to believe, it's a lot to take into a Count."""

"What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans. I'll be here all week."

"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""

"Why Does Captain Kirk Have 3 Ears? He's got his left ear, his right ear...and the final front ear."

"When I steal a sweater it's called theft but when a girl does it, it's a sign of affection"

"A patient in his hospital bed asks his doctor... Patient: Doctor, how much time do I have left to live...? Doctor: Ten Patient: Ten what...? Doctor: Nine..."

"Where did Chappelle store all his Rick James outfits? Unit E"