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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary said ""making the economy work for everyone, not just those at the top""... ...the economy would work for me."

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles ^I ^am ^so ^sorry"

"What are pornstars paid? Income."

"[God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders"

"R.I.P to my good friend Brian Eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombies."

"How do you keep an AssHole in suspense?"

"Tim Howard has been America's best goalkeeper since Sylvester Stallone in 1945."

"Joke a friend made up What's black and yellow and makes everyone laugh? A school bus full of black people falling off a cliff."

"90% of the steps on my FiBit are just me wandering around looking for my keys"