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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary said ""making the economy work for everyone, not just those at the top""... ...the economy would work for me."

"[NSWF] What's the difference between acne and priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face."

"since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight ""because of nausea?"" no, because you're a gremlin"

"What sound does a shotgun make? Kurt Kurt Cobain"

"I walked into the Urgent Care bathroom and read a sign that said ""Nothing other than Toilet Paper in the Toilet"" So I Shit on the floor and flushed the toilet paper."

"Hunger Games. Zimbabwe's favorite pastime."

"You get home from work early. You walk into the kitchen and your dog is peeling a potato. Startled, she yells ""IT'S JUST A POTATO!"" #ambien"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it got pissed off."

"A wise Chinese man once said, ""If a dog barks it's undercooked"""

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."