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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in her wheelchair"
Next Joke
"What's a candidates favorite instrument? Trump-et"
"Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine."
"Just read a book on Helium. Couldn't put it down."
"I'd definitely watch a show with Dr. Phil going door to door reading people's Google search history out-loud with the most judgmental stare."
"Remember when people used to have to be in shape to wear tank tops?"
"What should you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off."
"Which US state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda"
"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""
"[Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg"