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Joke of the Day

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's That's because she changes it more often."

"Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on."

"If you make that Civic muffler loud enough, you can drown out your dad's voice calling you a worthless piece of crap. Almost."

"Chuck Norris graduated Summa Cum Laude at Harvard after only 1 class."

"I'd like to teach the world to sing. And while everyone's busy, I'd go watch a movie without people talking through it."

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"Why do so many girls wear sweaters that say 'SuperDry'... It's not like us boys wear sweaters saying 'micropenis'"

"Four gay guys walk into a bar... To see only one stool was open. ""Ah not a problem!"" The bartender said as he flipped the stool upside down."

"Judas: Still on for Friday? ""Jesus: Friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""

"I was so happy when I got my new thesaurus in the mail. But when I opened it, every page was blank! Damn. I have no words to describe how upset I am."