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Joke of the Day

"[OC] Girls who prefer ""dad bods""... Just want father figures in their lives."

"We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly inseparable. Last week it took four Howard County Policemen and a dog."

"So what if I can't spell ""Armageddon"" I mean, it's not the end of the world."

"i've got a pilot's licence... and i'm not giving it back to him. luckily he's too drunk to notice."

"However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight."

"My girlfriends father is very religious and says we can't sleep together. Which is really unfortunate because he is extremely good looking."

"What's ISIS's favourite song? Niggas in Paris"

"I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 The odds were against me."

"Want to hear a joke? Women's rights"

"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day."