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Joke of the Day

"Is it a rule now that Betty White has to be in everything? Because she is simply ruining this porn for me."

"I'll get you wetter than a Scottish summer."

"In the Bible it was Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve"

"Which state smells the worst? The Prostate"

"I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying ""at least I didn't kill anybody"" to like every person he sees today."

"I'm sorry and I apologize are the same thing... Unless it's at a funeral."

"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."

"What did the police say when they finished interviewing Dylann Roof? You're hired"

"""Marvel comics to introduce a female Muslim superhero"" Fans are looking forward to seeing Captain America, Iron Man and the Post Box in the next Avengers film."

"5yo: [loudly whispers] MOMMY, SEE? WE'RE LETTING YOU AND DADDY SLEEP! AREN'T WE DOING GOOD? Me: [in bed] Yeah. You're doing GREAT."