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Joke of the Day

"I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small. But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!"

"E-Mail: Drive her wild in the bedroom. Me: Feh...I'll drive her wild in the kitchen *Re-arranges the dishwasher."

"Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs."

"Which state has the most progressive bathroom laws? Transylvania."

"Did you hear about the accountant that audited the greengrocer? Sure was a turnip for the books"

"I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4."

"Joe was chopping wood with his Dad Joe: Dad, I think I want to be a pilot! Dad: That's great, start over there. You can grab that wood and pile it."

"What do you call a woman standing in the middle of at tennis court? Annette!"

"I'm not fat. My stomach is 3D"

"Why did Renault name a car ""Le Car""? So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work."