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Joke of the Day

"What did one bird say to another bird on New Year's? WOW THAT YEAR FLEW BY *slaps knee, then crawls back under rock*"

"""WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?"" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony."

"George Washington Where does George Washington keep his armies? In his sleavies!"

"Why do they make condoms with ribs? So you can get traction in the mud."

"Why do pigs run from medicine? They hate getting cured."

"6.9 is a very good thing fucked by a period."

"It makes me sad that in this age of computers and video games, my children will never understand what it's like to be raised by television."

"I want to make a joke about my eye doctor. But it sounded very cornea."

"What do priests and Christmas trees have in common? Their baubles are just for decoration."

"Pigeons... I've just seen a flock of pigeons in army unifoms. I think it might be a military coo."