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Joke of the Day

"Pigeons... I've just seen a flock of pigeons in army unifoms. I think it might be a military coo."

"I've never been held hostage but I've been on a group text."

"My friend said he was going to become a mime I haven't heard from him in a while"

"Saw this on a shirt Silence is golden: Duct tape is silver"

"Me: *tied up* Guy: *hits my kneecap* M: I'm not a rat! G: Bring in her sworn enemy! G2: *tosses Rubik's Cube at me* M: Oh god no! I'll talk!"

"If you don't order beef for dinner... That's a missed steak."

"I told my wife about my other wife.... She took it really well, said it was big o' me :)"

"*Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*"

"The waitress just asked, ""Still happy over here, guys?"" and I'm not sure how to respond."

"It's funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second."