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Joke of the Day

"The rising new trend is "" An@l Bleaching "". Usually I would be against such an activity ,but....Some ***holes do need to LIGHTEN UP !!"

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."

"Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name"

"Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?"

"Nothing says ""I enjoyed the taste of paste, fingerpaint, and crayons in first grade"" more than a potato chip bag opened from the bottom."

"the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. ""not great man ive got diarrhea"" i told him"

"I'll pay you to dress like a Comcast employee and let me hit you with my car."

"What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber...."

"I'm a bit worried. I was checking my testicles this morning, and I noticed that one of them... ...is considerably larger than the other two."