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Joke of the Day

"Those boots are made for walking? Wow, so are most boots. Give me a call when they're made for castrating antelope or something."

"#ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!"

"Don't you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?"

"BRUCE LEE: Be formless, shapeless, like water. HARPER LEE: Things are never as bad as they seem. PARSLEY: I am a stalk vegetable."

"Martin Shkreli's life was such a joke he was born on April 1st..."

"Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records."

"I saw a black man walking down the street with a TV. ""That looks a lot like mine..."" I thought... Then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes."

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day... Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth"