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Joke of the Day

"I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas"

"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."

"According to my neighbor's journal, I have ""boundary isues."""

"Cause of death: Very rough shirt tag"

"Old lady asked me to check her balance I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over"

"Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born."

"A very busty woman whispers to me ""I want you to tell me if these look real"" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing"

"If an object falls at 500ft/s how far must Mohammed run to escape the blast?"

"TIFU by posting in the wrong sub. ;)"

"What do you call a deaf dinosaur? Anything you like - he can't hear you."