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Joke of the Day

"Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you."

"If Amy Schumer was a football player, what team would she play for? The Stealers."

"I just saw the movie 50 Shades of gray You could say it had a huge climax."

"What would martin Luther king be if he was white? Alive."

"How are we going to know when America is officially great again? Is there going to be a party, like on a giant ship, with a banner?"

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies? My erection."

"One day the bass player hid one of the drummer's sticks. The drummer said ""finally! After being a drummer for so long now I am a conductor!"""

"I was out of town and I asked for directions, but the guy just mooned me. I thought he was a bit cheeky."

"Do you know what a 9V battery and an asshole have in common? No matter how hard you try, you're eventually going to press your tongue to it."

"[emergency room] ""We need to put pressure on the wound!"" [to wound] We've been together 6 months now, I think we should move in together"""