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Joke of the Day

"Why does the USA use F? The rest of the world has varying degrees of communism."

"Sex is like math Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!"

"""are you drunk?"" - everyone's response when i send a nice text"

"My girlfriend is ridiculously good at deepthroating... It's actually not that great because she only gets to do it when she cheats on me with black guys."

"I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly"

"Kill the man Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"So many people want to hit me for my jokes, they have to stand in a punch line."

"So a clown gets eaten by a shark..."

"Had a German plumber over today And he managed to plug our gas line to the shower. Guess old habits is hard to get out of Edit: spelling"

"Girl: My GrandFather Lived For 96 Years & He Never Used Glasses. Boy: Yeah I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle."