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Joke of the Day

"Had a German plumber over today And he managed to plug our gas line to the shower. Guess old habits is hard to get out of Edit: spelling"

"What do you call an easter extremist? The middle easter bunny"

"Q: Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head? A: Because from a distance they looked like hares."

"And Jesus said unto John... And Jesus said unto John come forth and I shall give you everlasting life. But John came fifth so he only won a toaster."

"I used to assume most people were bright, kind, and at least somewhat informed. Then social media was invented."

"I don't understand... ...how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and yet my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"The world does not revolve around you, it revolves around the sun...which shines out my ass."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb"

"What do Italians eat on Halloween? fettucine afraid-o"

"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"