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Joke of the Day

"3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!"

"What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure? Zoolander"

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral It was a dead zone"

"Some people are like Slinkies... They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. -Oscar Levant."

"For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks."

"Whats the best part about a dead hooker The second hour is free"

"If movies have taught me anything, it's that the insurance for fruit vendor carts must be astronomical."

"Little John discovered his testicles while taking a shower and asked his mother. Johny:""Mom! Are these my brains?"" Mother:"" Not yet Johny"""

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang. It just says I can't get within 50ft of you. You wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"