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Joke of the Day

"Just crushed my son in an epic game of Monopoly. His tears flooded Baltic Avenue."

"You should never kiss someone on Jan 1... It is only the first date."

"Why did the farmer name his pig Ink? Because he kept running out of the pen."

"What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made? A nut for a jar of tuna."

"You know what Trump and the Note 7 have in common? You know it will blow up, just not when."

"My Twitter account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password."

"I recently followed a guy from Ethiopia. BIG mistake. The only thing he ever tweets about is what he's not having for dinner."

"Just got back from bowling... But I'll spare you the details."

"The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president... They're ready to make America grate again."

"What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats lots of beans? Gaseous Clay"