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Joke of the Day

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"

"Who can't tell the difference between short and long? This subreddit mods"

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"Started a pillow fight with my boyfriend, but I forgot that's where I hide my Oreos."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the light bulb, two to make a documentary about it."

"I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard."

"*somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*"

"Someone should invent a version of Twitter for people who spell things like rappers. They could call it ""twita"". Dat would b nize"

"I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again."