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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian with big hands? Well hung!"

"Using a phone case is like buying a Ferrari and gluing Corolla body panels to it."

"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg, and some days you're the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down."

"3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave"

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it ? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?"

"3YO: MOMMY HELP HELP! ME *throws cat off lap, drops phone, spills coffee on self, runs up stairs, kicks open door* 3YO: I want a snack."

"You Will Send Me Nudes This is on Reddit."

"After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Apple Watches your money go into their pocket."

"The best jokes are the ones that have to be explained. Get it? Because that's the opposite of the truth, I was using sarcasm."