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Joke of the Day

"You Will Send Me Nudes This is on Reddit."

"Therapist: What's the problem? Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me [petting a bee]: You're not strange are you Alan"

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend got mad at me for busting a nut. It's not like I could eat it with the shell on."

"Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants."

"Watched Full House for not even a full minute & now I'm white with a credit score of 720"

"What sort of drug does a duck use? Quack cocaine"

"If you're ever bored in a taxi I recommend mouthing, ""Help Me"" to strangers and watching their facial expressions"

"Shawty: Where's the naan brad Lad: there's naan left..."

"So it's okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it, I'm ""antisocial"". I call bullshit."

"Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands"