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Joke of the Day

"I've been trying to find my girlfriend's killer for the last month. Nobody's agreeing to do it."

"How is sex like putting on a belt? If it's not tight enough, move on to the next hole."

"as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water"

"The best time to propose at a restaurant is right after you order but before you pull up to the window."

"Why didn't Mr. Clean's wife ever get pregnant? He comes in a bottle. - My grandma."

"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"

"I just invented a new word: Plagiarism."

"I just took a Baking Class The final was a piece of cake."

"What does a gay horse eat? hAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAyyyy! . . . . . . What does a gay pirate eat? . . . . . **GAY PIRATE FOOD, ARR!!!**"

"Why are fish so thin? Because they eat fish!"