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Joke of the Day

"Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands. That joke never grows old!"

"""Someone offered me grapes, but I declined . I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form."" University of Chicago"

"Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ."

"There's a big difference between seminary school and semenary school."

"A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair. ""Haircut sir?"" asked the barber. ""No just change the oil please!"""

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had was a terrier. It was a shih tzu."

"The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole"

"That new movie, Daja Vu... Haven't I seen it before?"

"How much did the obese man know about fitness? Diddly squat"

"A guy is at the doctors... The doctor tells him ""we're gonna need a stool sample, urine sample and a semen sample."" The guy says ""Doc, I'm kinda in a hurry, can't you just take my underwear?"""