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Joke of the Day

"The guy who named the peacock was just trying to make himself feel better."

"What kind of ant can you colour with ? A crayant !"

"You remember those yardsticks? They don't make them any longer."

"Why are all liquor stores haunted? Because they're full of spirits."

"Maybe the back door is the wrong door. -Hillary Clinton"

"Are guys smarter before, during, or after sex with a woman? During, you're plugged into a know-it-all."

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"Q: What is a 'forum'? A: Two-um plus two-um."

"The U.K. Summarized in two sentences. ""No Scotland, you cannot leave the UK."" ""Hey Scotland, let's leave the EU."""

"My new Thesaurus arrived today, and it's terrible. And another thing, it's terrible."