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Joke of the Day

"I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely"

"Government officials have released a report including satellite images of secret ISIS training facilities Iocated in Italy That's right.....Italian ISIS"

"What's the deal with rape whistles? I can't imagine a situation in which blowing on a whistle is more effective than yelling ""RAPE!"""

"When colleges ask for my leadership activities... ""I'm a mod on reddit."""

"Q: What's blue and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket in disguise."

"[at restaurant] ""check, please!"" [waiter leans over] sir, again, there are no monsters under the table ""ok....goodnight"" wait what"

"Hey! You got your chatroulette in my peanut butter."

"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Father's day."

"If you are charged with possession of marijuana Is it called joint custody?"

"Apparently Trump wants to outlaw pre-shredded cheese... ...he keeps going on and on about how he wants to make America grate again..."