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Joke of the Day

"So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl. And all I could think was ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" And then she did."

"I really want to learn how to play the Piano.. .. But it's not my forte."

"My girlfriend took me bra shopping It was an uplifting experience"

"You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer."

"Murphy said to his daughter ""I want you home by eleven o'clock."" She said ""But Father I'm no longer a child!"" He said ""I know that's why I want you home by eleven."""

"I don't care about babies on flights, but people who don't travel often should have their own terminal."

"Satan is so gay!"

"Gf: Remember that night we had unprotected sex Me: Yeah Gf: I'm having twins Me suspiciously: We only did it once why's there two babies"

"How does a snail win a race? It runs against Hillary."

"Joke What goes oom oom"