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Joke of the Day
"What does a dead hooker and a flat beer have in common... No head."
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"If I was a squirrel I'd chuck my nuts in your hole!"
"Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading? Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading? Topper: Great Expectations. Rabinowitz: Is it any good? Topper: Its not all I hoped for. Hot Shots Part Deux. Best joke in the movie."
"[several months ago] BEYONCE: Kim Kardashian might be having a 3RD baby JAY-Z: How many we got BEYONCE: One JAY-Z: Not a problem"
"GF: ""You're cute when you're drunk"" Me: ""You're cute when I'm drunk too"""
"If the United States government had a reality TV show... It would be called House of Tards."
"America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupee for it."
"Things got heated on my date the other night and I said ""hey you wanna do 68?"" She says ""what's that?"" I said ""it's when you blow me and I owe you one."""
"Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs."
"My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way. I resent that."