217179

Joke of the Day

"What does Reddit and fat people have in common? A LOT of people don't like them right now"

"I'm not sure if I want to move to Sweden... but the flag is a big plus."

"They say cow manure come from males. But that's bullshit."

"Johnny sees that his dad has a black eye He asks him, ""Dad, why do you have a black eye?"" His dad replies, ""You're gonna have two if your girlfriends keep leaving their panties in my car"""

"Bathroom mirrors are either the luckiest or the unluckiest objects in the house."

"ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth"

"Don't make school shooting jokes. You can't imagine what went through their heads in their final moments."

"What do banks and the US government have in common? They both deal with checks and balances."

"What do you think about a girl isn't a virgin before 18?"

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."