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Joke of the Day

"Bathroom mirrors are either the luckiest or the unluckiest objects in the house."

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"Shawty dropped to the ground like she ain't got manners There was too much lights for an epileptic girl to handle"
"""Were any famous men born on your birthday?"" ""No, only little babies."" "
"A man was asked if he would rather have a new circular saw or a ladder... He chose the latter."
"I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran."
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"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
"Weird, my coworker has bragged all day about his pending vacation and now his headlights have kicked themselves in."
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"What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer? One builds weapons and the other build targets."