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Joke of the Day

"We are friends until the waiter sets that plate of nachos down on the table, then we are mortal enemies"

"People Don't even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Instagram"

"Why do girls suck at playing hockey as goalie? Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads"

"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."

"I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition. It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time."

"Why did the dog jump into the sea? He wanted to chase the catfish!"

"Why do they say ""break a leg !"" to actors ? If you said ""tear an ACL !"" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot."

"What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home."

"How many mutants do you need to take over a Ship? 5 MutantA MutantB MutantC MutantD and Mutiny"

"what do you call chicken shawarma wrapped in a tortilla? A mosqueito."