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Joke of the Day

"It's 3 am. Just smoked a fatty. Just trying to make up new material with my parrot. I think i just thought of a good one but I may just be... Too stoned with one bird."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend said she needed time and distance... So I slapped her with velocity."
"Etsy is like your Aunt taking acid. It's lonely and crafty and tries to convince you that spoons should be necklaces."
"What's brown and sticky? Shit"
"What do you call a Dr. that shares your medical history with everyone? a HIPAAcrite"
"When The Rock is about to do it to his wife I bet he says something sexy like ""You ready to Rock?!"" or ""Rock, paper, scissors?!"""
"All the kids at Sandyhook wanted books... But all they got was magazines."
"What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear."
"What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building? Tosses them off."
"Asians are so bad at driving That I think Pearl harbour was an accident."