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Joke of the Day

"People say Money talks... But all mine says is Goodbye."

"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."

"Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic."

"Girls: He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. Ewww. Guys: Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Too fat."

"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"

"A guy wakes up in hospital after surgery and complains he can't feel his legs ""I know"" said the doctor. ""We had to amputate your arms"""

"A Baptist, a Mormon, and a Muslim walk into a bar... The Baptist says, ""What the hell are we doing here?"""

"She : It's not working between us. He : Why ? She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course ?"

"What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and donald trump? One of them is a racist carrot"

"Your parents didn't even want you... You would have been a blowjob if your mom had change for that $20."