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Joke of the Day

"4yo: You're a good dad. Me: Thanks. 4yo: You'd be better if you said yes more. Me: Okay. 4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said."

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"I buy all my guns from a guy that calls himself T-Rex... He's a small arms dealer."
"What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day."
"Wipes away your tears using three precise karate chops."
"A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest asked the rabbi, ""Do you get paid for corcumcisions?"" The rabbi replies ""No, but I keep the tips."""
"Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with."
"So they're bringing in 100 fine for bad driving... How sexist is that? (via Jimmy Carr)"
"[After 20 min at your house] I used all your toilet paper ""Check in the cabine-"" All of it ""We have more in the gar-"" All of it all of it"
"You guys wanna hear a joke? My life."
"What is the frat guy's favorite ion? Bromide"
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