87527

Joke of the Day

"[dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - ""woof, woof, woof."" Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*"

"What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner."

"This may sound like a rape joke if you ask me Oh wait you don't have to."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice"

"There are three kinds of people in this world.... Ones that can count and ones that can't"

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait... Regular or Asian?"

"A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people skip his name"

"What do you call a blowjob from a midget? A low blow."

"Why do men, on average, die before women? Because they want to."

"me: wanna see my cat's shed? friend: lots of cats shed. why would-- [my cat enters wearing a tool belt] cat: show him the gazebo, too"