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Joke of the Day

"Why do Egyptian warships have glass floors? So they can see their air force"

"Autistic guy didn't get paid for a whole year while working at Applebee's. Life is hard for stauving autists."

"How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower? 100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is."

"Why do uniformed soldiers need to eat their fruits and vegetables? If they don't, they'll be irregulars."

"Fact: People that choose a table over a booth have murdered at least one person."

"Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners"

"My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Classical Conditioning (told by my psychologist student friend that is not on reddit, so all credit to him)"

"North Korea bans sarcasm What a great idea."

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."