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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation Causes Blindness So one day, my Dad sits me down and tells me ""Son, masturbation is bad and will cause you to go blind. "" I had to tell him I was on the other side of the room."

"You're so ugly... your birth certificate is a letter of apology."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist fuck."

"If you speak too slowly, my brain completes your sentences in all kinds of ways that make you interesting for a moment."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokenoff!"

"Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to ""work that poll""."

"Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die."

"Cop: So, I'm writing a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane. Me: You're going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if their was a dog."

"Yo mama's got so many balls lined up ready to score, her nickname is Basketball Practice."