216231

Joke of the Day

"To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome"

"Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped? Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!"

"You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had. I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes Jihad."

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty! *ba dum tssh*"

"""Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."" Plato,"

"I went to an owl party last night. Contrary to my expectations it wasn't very much fun at all."

"You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when... You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, ""you make an appeal."""

"What do hipster jokes and hipsters have in common? None of them are original."

"UK: Hey u ok USA: What UK: I saw what happened USA: Im fine, nothing happened Canada: Hey I know what I said before but you can't stay over"

"Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone. Me: Oh, sorry. Yes."