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Joke of the Day

"Today, I had sex for 1 hour and 30 seconds Thank you Daylight Savings Time!"

"You know how after you get off a boat, your body still feels like its on the boat for a while after? I'm like that with beds."

"Why do i call my dick ""chess""? because it's hard as fuck for 6 year olds"

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"What do you call the doctor for dogs? Dogtor"

"The Jackhammer, Now that was a groundbreaking discovery."

"How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white? BLE-YATCH!"

"I'm the weakest in my Asian family They call me weak-Ling"

"You know, I haven't always been liberal You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history."

"Whelp. It's December. That time of year when I have zero excuse for being so sweaty."