216218

Joke of the Day

"Today, I had sex for 1 hour and 30 seconds Thank you Daylight Savings Time!"

"curious new Snapchat filter shows exact date and time of your death but refuses to be sent. then you notice: the time says five minutes ago."

"Have you heard about the Rabbi who did circumcisions for free? He worked for tips."

"Now that it is 2015 we should all really be on the lookout for Marty Mcfly. If it is only to forewarn him to invest heavily in Parkinsons research on his return to 1985."

"Why did the farmer fire the DJ? Because he kept on dropping beets."

"Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies? Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)"

"England soccer team have got a new captain today His names George Smith and he'll be flying the A380 back to Heathrow.."

"If we truly become what we mock... ...I think I'm going to start mocking some smarter, more successful people, for a change."

"""sir can you describe the stingray that attacked you?"" yes it was like a weird pancake"

"Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)"