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Joke of the Day

"Now that it is 2015 we should all really be on the lookout for Marty Mcfly. If it is only to forewarn him to invest heavily in Parkinsons research on his return to 1985."

"I got spam from someone named ""Amishguy."" I wonder how fast his windmill had to turn in order for him to email me like that."

"Instead of racism or misogyny, why not hate the people who wear pyjamas and slippers to the airport?"

"First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks ""is that your puppy?"" say ""No. That's my dad."" Then storm off."

"The job hunt is going great I just spent 45 minutes applying online for a position at a company called ""Commercial Space Available."""

"What's a poops favorite color? Turdquoise"

"My father was a nun. Whenever he was up in court and the judge asked ""occupation"", he'd say ""none"". (From Blackadder Goes Forth, is this still eligible for /r/jokes?)"

"Why was there semen on the clean laundry? When Greg woke up, his mom had left a note reading, ""Please put a load in the washer"""

"My brother ran into my room just now and said ""Someone dumped exactly seven used condoms on my bed!"" I said: ""Huh, that's odd."""

"If I donate blood and you're in an unfortunate circumstance of needing it don't blame me for never being able to pass a drug test again."