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Joke of the Day

"Abortions are so fun It really brings out the kid in you"

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble."

"Accidentally picked out soothing paint colors and now my panic room is ruined."

"Excuses are like asses: everyone has them and they all stink."

"I bet male porn stars don't find themselves in tight spots very often."

"A son asks his dad ""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""Not yet son. We still haven't found anyone that wants you"""

"Why is OP's mum like a bowling ball? Because she gets picked up, fingered and thrown down an alley then still comes back for more."

"People fear what they don't understand: Change Death 4th grade math word problems"

"Adult Trick-or-Treating: Walk around ringing doorbells & everyone gives out a shot of booze or a bong rip to each other. Make it happen."

"Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets... It's called Halo3.**ods**t"