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Joke of the Day

"Cupcakes are for people who don't have the dedication and stamina to eat a whole cake! Losers."

"My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering ""because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed"" just gets you sent to HR."

"My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh She says I am becoming unbearable."

"There's only one downside of putting a woman on the $20 bill. That downside is that the $20 bill is now only worth $15.66"

"Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it."

"When does a gas become a liquid? When it stains your underwear."

"Like ""dollar,"" ""euro"" is not capitalized. Unlike a dollar, a euro can actually buy you something."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking... J. K. Rowling"

"""Hey look, there's a deer frolicking in the woods over there!"" Deer: What the hell did you say I was doing?"

"What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face? A Gladiator"