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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"'Two can play that game...' -people who dont understand that's how games usually work"

"What happens when almonds die? Diamond"

"I like my women like I like my whiskey: Twelve years old and mixed with coke."

"How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait"

"Fertility clinic What did the perverted embryonic scientist say to the microscope? ""Are those my genes because I can definitely see myself in them."""

"Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic."

"While teaching a CPR course, chuck norris actually brought the practice dummy to life"

"Why did everyone love the mushroom at the party? He was a fungi."

"I like to stop drinking somewhere between ""watch this"" and ""ohhhhhh shit""."